Soup is delicious, there’s no denying that. What some people may deny is that soup is more delicious that intercourse. But just think, when you’re slurping up hot, steamy soup into your mouth and down your throat aren’t you just enjoying every second of it? Don’t you just revel in the delicious mix of spices and vegetables and noodles and meat and broth and oxtail (depending on the soup)? It’s a lot different when you’re slurping warm, steamy, bodily fluids. There’s nothing more pleasant than having something hot, sticky, and delicious running down your throat, unless that something is a bodily fluid. Then it’s just kinda nasty.
When I was in grade school my friends and I made up a game called “Soup Tag”. It was just like regular tag except when you tagged someone you had to shout the name of a soup.
I will now proceed to list my favorite kinds of soups:
Tomato Basil - better than fallacio!
Broccoli Cheddar - more delicious than semen!
Cuban Black Bean - less sweaty than a vag!
Split Pea with Ham - tastier than a penis!
Pizza Soup (I don’t know what it’s actually called but it tastes like pizza) - funner than foreplay!
Clam Chowda - less risk of an STD than intercourse!*
*warning: still high risk of an STD